A letter to the boy I could not love

Thank you for all the kind words, they’ll last a lifetime. I know you’re hurting now but unlike the words you spoke the hurt will fade. I’m sorry your bed is stained by the tears I caused. I’m sorry your passenger seat is covered in my cigarette ashes. I’m sorry your pillow was left with my lipstick marks. I’m sorry every girl who hurts you will remind you of me. I’m sorry I left you with so many pieces of me I’ll never truly be absent.

But run yourself a hot bath, pour yourself a glass of wine, shed a couple tears, smoke a few cigarettes, listen to some sad songs, and keep the knives away. Soon the wounds will heal and you’ll forget the colour of my eyes and the songs will no longer seem like they were written about me. Soon you’ll stop searching for me in the crowded streets. You won’t think of your hands in my hair, or my fingers interlocked with yours. You’ll erase my laughter from your memory and your favourite T-shirt will lose my scent and you’ll be whole without me around.

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