Dirty Things I Was Too young To Understand

I’ll forever live

As the 17 year old

Who let a man twice her age

Convince her she was nothing.

No matter how hard

I try to scrub that off

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Live & Learn

I remember how warm your hands were and sometime

Only sometimes I miss how they held me.

Most of the time I remember how they burned me,

Into never wanting to touch another persons flesh again

You Hurt Me

So what have you told her about me?

Did you tell her about my poetry

Or the way your back arched when my lips touched your neck?

Did you tell her you loved me

Or that I waited hours for you while you worked?

Did you tell her you ignored me when I hurt

Or that you looked at me like a project that needed fixing?

Did you tell her you cried for me?

Did you tell her I spent two months in a psychiatric ward?

Did you tell her I was too crazy for you?

Did you tell her you felt sorry for me?

Did you tell her you were happy she never reminds you of me?

Does she look at you like a hero for putting up with me?

Does she want to be everything I couldn’t be for you?

Does she always have a smile on her face?

I’m not your sob story to tell.

The Night The Sea Swallowed Me

I hurt so deeply 
And you were afraid of drowning 

I can’t blame you for this

I’ve been floating in it since I was 12

The hurt feels like home now

But fuck

You can’t run every time the water hits the shore 

All I needed was a lifeguard 

And you disappeared 

Don’t Make Me Feel Bad For This

He’s all the art shows you didn’t have time for

He’s all the concerts you had no interest in

He’s every poem you couldn’t understand

He’s not you

And I will always love you

But he is him

And he understands every part of me that felt unloved while I was with you