In my bed I hear her.
She calls my name so sweetly.
She performs shows with rubies and pearls.
But the rubies you see, have taken the colour from my bleeding veins.
The pearls, my milk teeth.
But the show is so captivating.
My blood looks better outside my body.
I beg to stay, but she sends me out of sleep.
I wake up to my disappointing reality.
I sat in the tub and drew a line down my wrist.
And the rubies fall down the pearl of the tub.
“Welcome home.” She says
I haven’t been writing like before,
The only thing that drives me to pick up a pen anymore are a few glasses of whiskey.
I haven’t been singing lately,
The way I did with you in the shower,
Maybe because I’m always on my own and things we used to do together makes me feel lonely.
I don’t sleep enough,
I only dream of you at my feet and waking up is too painful.
When you left you left your sent on my skin and I’ve scrubbed for three days straight but you just won’t disappear.
I don’t go to all my classes,
They feel too long and I’m not paying attention anyway.
I don’t paint,
I always find my way to the colour of your eyes and it’s not beautiful anymore,
I don’t spend much time at home,
The walls want to know where you went and I don’t have the answer.
I forgot to eat today,
I didn’t realize until I got ill and had nothing in my system but the vodka that goes down like water these days.