Thank you for teaching me love,
A lesson they skipped between world wars and algebra.
Thank you for showing me the difference it makes to sleep with someone you actually care about.
You broke my heart and I can’t find all the pieces.
Without you the world feels colder.
The empty gaps where you once lived
Are leasing to vodka and lips that aren’t yours
Because I need to feel something that isn’t the pain of your arms not around me.
And I’m drowning in all the things I never said to you and I tried to swallow the words but now I’m choking on them and if this kills me
I thank you
You have eyes to kill over and you don’t know this because men don’t seem to like compliments like this
Your coffee order is complex and I have a feeling its metaphorical for the personality you obtain
The window lets the sun play with your bleached blonde locks and I’m jealous that the sun is able to explore you while I keep my distance.
People say being lonely is sad and unfortunate but the way you old yourself proves
Being alone is not the same as being lonely
I hurt so deeply
And you were afraid of drowning
I can’t blame you for this
I’ve been floating in it since I was 12
The hurt feels like home now
You can’t run every time the water hits the shore
All I needed was a lifeguard
And you disappeared
I didn’t love him.
But he loved the parts of me I couldn’t stand.
So we played house
Until I burt it to the ground.
Lipstick stained cigarettes and old bookshops will remind you of me even if you can’t remember what you’re remembering.
Hang me from the rafters like a Christmas ornament
I missed you
But the sun still rose,
And it continued to warm the Earth.
I missed you,
But the time still passed,
Like any other day.
I missed you,
But the music still sounded
The way it always had.
I missed you,
And I will always miss you,
But life still continues.
I will have to accept
That you are no longer
part of my life.
I’m tired of empty apologies,
Of drunken phone calls,
I’m tired of these tired words,
That mean nothing to you.
I’m tired of trying for you over and over,
I’m tired of you acting like a stranger,
I’m tired of your jealousy,
The pathetic way you contradict yourself.
I’m tired of staring at your name in my contact book,
Not having the heart of throw away your number,
I’m tired of playing our memories over in my mind,
I’m tired of crying myself to sleep because the loneliness is overwhelming,
I’m tired of writing about you,
But I can’t get you out of my head any other way.
I’m sorry about the bruises
You got from trying to climb the walls
I built about myself
They are tall and strong
But they are what
keep me safe
I’m sorry about your eyes
They way the leaked over me
Was never something I intended to happen
I’m sorry about your bones
And the way they took home in my bed
After I stopped leaving my room
I’m sorry about the blisters and burns on your feet
You got after walking miles for me
Just for me to tell you to go back home
I’m sorry about your ears
And the way my lies will forever echo
In the drum like I almost loved you
I’m sorry about the taste I left in your mouth
Because no matter how badly you want to wipe it away
You won’t dare because it’s sweet and rare and irreplaceable
I’m sorry about your bed
And the way it’s filled with
Our memories and my scent.