The Night The Sea Swallowed Me

I hurt so deeply 
And you were afraid of drowning 

I can’t blame you for this

I’ve been floating in it since I was 12

The hurt feels like home now

But fuck

You can’t run every time the water hits the shore 

All I needed was a lifeguard 

And you disappeared 

Shatter

I didn’t love him. 

But he loved the parts of me I couldn’t stand. 

So we played house 

Until I burt it to the ground. 

I Hope She Makes You Miserable 

Lipstick stained cigarettes and old bookshops will remind you of me even if you can’t remember what you’re remembering. 

Jellybean

Jellybean,

You keep me keen

You seem to adore me

Even with all you’ve seen

My jumping jellybean.

Darling,

Don’t say you’re parting

Only in dreams do I have someone like you

You would leave me starving

My dearest darling.

Buttercup,

I know I’ve fucked up

But I’m dying you see

This is merely a hiccough

My beautiful buttercup.

Lover

I know you have another

But she’ll never hold you

Like I under the cover

My lone  lover.

Dear,

You are now something I fear

How stupid of me

To think you’d shed even a single tear.

My damnedest dear.

 

Time

I missed you

But the sun still rose,

And it continued to warm the Earth.

I missed you,

But the time still passed,

Like any other day.

I missed you,

But the music still sounded

The way it always had.

I missed you,

And I will always miss you,

But life still continues.

I suppose

I will have to accept

That you are no longer

part of my life.

Exhaustion

I’m tired of empty apologies,

Of drunken phone calls,

I’m tired of these tired words,

That mean nothing to you.

 

I’m tired of trying for you over and over,

I’m tired of you acting like a stranger,

I’m tired of your jealousy,

The pathetic way you contradict yourself.

 

I’m tired of staring at your name in my contact book,

Not having the heart of throw away your number,

I’m tired of playing our memories over in my mind,

I’m tired of crying myself to sleep because the loneliness is overwhelming,

I’m tired of writing about you,

But I can’t get you out of my head any other way.

 

 

I’m sorry

I’m sorry about the bruises

You got from trying to climb the walls

I built about myself

 

They are tall and strong

But they are what

keep me safe

 

I’m sorry about your eyes

They way the leaked over me

Was never something I intended to happen

 

I’m sorry about your bones

And the way they took home in my bed

After I stopped leaving my room

 

I’m sorry about the blisters and burns on your feet

You got after walking miles for me

Just for me to tell you to go back home

 

I’m sorry about your ears

And the way my lies will forever echo

In the drum like I almost loved you

 

I’m sorry about the taste I left in your mouth

Because no matter how badly you want to wipe it away

You won’t dare because it’s sweet and rare and irreplaceable

 

I’m sorry about your bed

And the way it’s filled with

Our memories and my scent.

 

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

Addison

I hope you cry for me one day,

The way I cried for you.