Don’t Make Me Feel Bad For This

He’s all the art shows you didn’t have time for

He’s all the concerts you had no interest in

He’s every poem you couldn’t understand

He’s not you

And I will always love you

But he is him

And he understands every part of me that felt unloved while I was with you

You seem cold.

I’ve been this way for years.

You’re too young to say that.

I grow faster than most people expect.

You seem tragic.

I was born with it in my veins.

You’re awfully pessimistic.

I’m never disappointed this way.

You have scars on your wrist.

I used to be sad.

You’re not anymore?

I’m not as bad as before.

You look at him like he put the stars in the sky.

I believe he’s magic.

You’re more innocent than you let on.

I have to hold onto something.

You don’t have to pretend to be strong.

I won’t be pretending one day.

Two Poems About One Loss

(1)

I smoke too much,

And now my head hurts when I walk,

But maybe it’s not the cigarettes.

Perhaps it’s the echo of the lies you told

Pounding in my head.

 

I drink too much,

And now my eyes burn when I look outside,

But maybe it’s not the booze.

Perhaps it’s the fear of seeing you with her

That made me wish to go blind.

 

I took too many pills,

And now I can’t find my bed,

But maybe it’s not the drugs.

Perhaps it’s the home where we lied

Makes me loose my mind.

(2)

You were everything I needed,

And now you’re not mine,

I wanted to come see you,

But all I’d do is cry.

Your ginger hair,

And the guitar you play,

Has made a home in my mind,

I can no longer stay.

So one day I’ll leave,

To where you can not go,

Please do not follow me,

You can not stoop that low.

I will write you a note,

Tell you that I have gone,

Do not cry for me,

During dusk or through the dawn.

Moments

I love you in a

Strange way.

Because I know I don’t want

A future with you.

But I want to share

This with you.

When I am alone in bed at

Night I crave your touch.

When I get coffee in the morning

I want your conversation.

When I work

I wish you would visit.

I crave moments with you.

Not a life.