Autumn Air

The wind is harsh on my skin and I must admit that I love the feeling. I primarily have used this blog as a place to write poetry but I would like to try something new. I was to take more time to explore myself and my thoughts and I want to expand my horizons.

I want to write not only in metaphors and stanzas. I will be writing bluntly about many aspects of my life. a wide range from fashion and lifestyle to mental health and sex work. I want to write about ugliness as much as beauty and I am aware that not everything will appeal to the same group of people but I just hope that some of what I write will speak to someone.

 

Nina Prentiss

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Live & Learn

I remember how warm your hands were and sometime

Only sometimes I miss how they held me.

Most of the time I remember how they burned me,

Into never wanting to touch another persons flesh again

I Hope She Makes You Miserable 

Lipstick stained cigarettes and old bookshops will remind you of me even if you can’t remember what you’re remembering. 

It’s Getting Worse

I will write you poems,

From the blood the pours from my wrist.

The colour of your eyes in the sunlight,

Matches the noose hanging in my closet.

Your hand grips mine so passionately,

The same way I held the empty pill bottle.

Your sent is intoxicating,

I just wish I could be locked with it inside a plastic bag.

You gently splashed me in the tub,

And the waves made me want to go to the sea and swim as far as I could so I couldn’t make it back.

I thought loving you would make me better, but you have given death a romantic touch. And I love her more than I could ever love you.

I’m Unaware

But where does one go when the minds no longer safe?

What does one do when the pleasures no longer please?

How does one have a future when they cannot see past the hour?

Who does one speak to when they are left alone?

When does one sleep when their thoughts keep them up?

Why does one live when death can come?

I’m sorry

I’m sorry about the bruises

You got from trying to climb the walls

I built about myself

 

They are tall and strong

But they are what

keep me safe

 

I’m sorry about your eyes

They way the leaked over me

Was never something I intended to happen

 

I’m sorry about your bones

And the way they took home in my bed

After I stopped leaving my room

 

I’m sorry about the blisters and burns on your feet

You got after walking miles for me

Just for me to tell you to go back home

 

I’m sorry about your ears

And the way my lies will forever echo

In the drum like I almost loved you

 

I’m sorry about the taste I left in your mouth

Because no matter how badly you want to wipe it away

You won’t dare because it’s sweet and rare and irreplaceable

 

I’m sorry about your bed

And the way it’s filled with

Our memories and my scent.

 

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

Addison

I hope you cry for me one day,

The way I cried for you.

Cry

She will cry,

She will cry over you like there is no tomorrow,

She will cry until her throat is raw,

And until her hair is a mess.

Her screams will echo through the walls,

And there will be nothing beautiful about it.

 

She will tear out the pages of her notebook that she dedicated to you,

And swear that your name will never again appear on the crisp pages that are so important to her,

But two days later the words won’t come,

And she’ll find herself sprawling your name over and over until the ink blurs and merges with her tears.

 

She will curse you,

And curse herself,

And curse the skies for everything,

And for nothing.

 

There will be days when the sun shines,

But all she can see is rain and clouds,

And days when she won’t see anything at all.

 

And fuck,

She will love you even though her heart is breaking,

Because she gave you a part of herself,

That you refuse to return.

 

But know this,

She will also learn to forget you.

 

So when she walks by you in two months time,

Laughing and smiling without a care in the world,

You will wonder how she slipped through your fingers,

And she won’t care.

 

Her

It’s not your fault

Please don’t blame the damage I have

Done to myself on you

Because this is the darkness

She tells me what to do

So when you call me late at night

Because nobody has heard from me in five days

It’s because she told me to stay in

She told me the dangers of the outside world

She told me the truth

She told me how you think of me

I’m sorry I was always such a hassle in your life

I’m sorry I wasn’t easier to deal with

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I’m sorry