Skin to Skin

He gently stokes the skin along my neck.

He does it in a way that was never meant to be erotic

but rather like a father trying to sooth his child to sleep.

He kisses the top of my head to remind me once again that he is here.

That I am here.

It’s easy to forget every now and then.

I press my head deeper upon his chest.

Here things seem slow and calm and real.

He moves his face toward mine and grazes his lips upon my forehead.

Then my cheek,

and pauses at my lips.

He glides his finger over my mouth and I pout so we’re closer.

Sometimes skin to skin still doesn’t feel like enough.

His lips meet mine and they dance slowly,

gracefully.

In a way I didn’t think it was possible for me to move.

He tastes of the wine we had just finished

but I guess I was still craving it.

 

Two Poems About One Loss

(1)

I smoke too much,

And now my head hurts when I walk,

But maybe it’s not the cigarettes.

Perhaps it’s the echo of the lies you told

Pounding in my head.

 

I drink too much,

And now my eyes burn when I look outside,

But maybe it’s not the booze.

Perhaps it’s the fear of seeing you with her

That made me wish to go blind.

 

I took too many pills,

And now I can’t find my bed,

But maybe it’s not the drugs.

Perhaps it’s the home where we lied

Makes me loose my mind.

(2)

You were everything I needed,

And now you’re not mine,

I wanted to come see you,

But all I’d do is cry.

Your ginger hair,

And the guitar you play,

Has made a home in my mind,

I can no longer stay.

So one day I’ll leave,

To where you can not go,

Please do not follow me,

You can not stoop that low.

I will write you a note,

Tell you that I have gone,

Do not cry for me,

During dusk or through the dawn.

A Letter To Nobody In Particular

Dear higher power,

Whatever you may be,

Why does it hurt so badly?

Why did you do this to me?

 

My mind is aching,

I can no longer sleep,

I’ve tried to tell my lover,

He doesn’t hear a peep.

 

I’m screaming at the walls,

I’m trying to get it across,

I don’t know how to handle,

All that I have lost.

 

I feel I’m going mad,

These thoughts are running wild,

I do not want to do this,

Please give me a death that is mild.

 

I am just so tired,

I have nothing left to give,

I need a different mind,

A different life to live.

Jellybean

Jellybean,

You keep me keen

You seem to adore me

Even with all you’ve seen

My jumping jellybean.

Darling,

Don’t say you’re parting

Only in dreams do I have someone like you

You would leave me starving

My dearest darling.

Buttercup,

I know I’ve fucked up

But I’m dying you see

This is merely a hiccough

My beautiful buttercup.

Lover

I know you have another

But she’ll never hold you

Like I under the cover

My lone  lover.

Dear,

You are now something I fear

How stupid of me

To think you’d shed even a single tear.

My damnedest dear.

 

Daydream

Give me a night alone in my room.

Give me attention but also solitude.

Keep me warm, build me a fire,

Kiss me softly as a grow tired.

Love me gently, but hit me rough.

My body is soft but my mind is tough.

Tell me stories to ease my head,

Please don’t leave me alone in bed.

I want so badly to be free.

Take this life away from me.

Give me pills that make me sleep,

Never again would you hear me weep.

Nightmares

In my bed I hear her.

She calls my name so sweetly.

She performs shows with rubies and pearls.

But the rubies you see, have taken the colour from my bleeding veins.

The pearls, my milk teeth.

Innocence lost.

But the show is so captivating.

My blood looks better outside my body.

I beg to stay, but she sends me out of sleep.

I wake up to my disappointing reality.

I sat in the tub and drew a line down my wrist.

And the rubies fall down the pearl of the tub.

“Welcome home.” She says

When I Tell You

When I tell you I am sad,

I am not asking for you to understand.

When I tell you I am sad,

I am not asking for you to fix me.

When I tell you I am sad,

I am not asking you to feed me compliments like I am a child knocking over a sippy cup.

When I tell you I am sad,

I do not want you to tell me everything will be alright.

When I tell you I am sad,

I want you to hold me. Listen to me. Just be there with me, so I am not alone.

It’s Getting Worse

I will write you poems,

From the blood the pours from my wrist.

The colour of your eyes in the sunlight,

Matches the noose hanging in my closet.

Your hand grips mine so passionately,

The same way I held the empty pill bottle.

Your sent is intoxicating,

I just wish I could be locked with it inside a plastic bag.

You gently splashed me in the tub,

And the waves made me want to go to the sea and swim as far as I could so I couldn’t make it back.

I thought loving you would make me better, but you have given death a romantic touch. And I love her more than I could ever love you.

The Poet And The Pessimist

She sat there, her head nearly pressing against the glass, admiring the rain gently kissing the pavement.

He sat in his office, eyes glazed with the reflection of the computer screen, mumbling about how the weather ruined his plans for the day.