I hurt so deeply
And you were afraid of drowning
I can’t blame you for this
I’ve been floating in it since I was 12
The hurt feels like home now
You can’t run every time the water hits the shore
All I needed was a lifeguard
And you disappeared
I didn’t love him.
But he loved the parts of me I couldn’t stand.
So we played house
Until I burt it to the ground.
Lipstick stained cigarettes and old bookshops will remind you of me even if you can’t remember what you’re remembering.
The back of his hand feels like my father finally coming home
Maybe if I pretend I’m better he’ll love me a little more
Blood spills onto the floor.
I was better where,
I was miserable why didn’t you leave me there?
I deserve this hurt.
I deserve the pain, the embarrassment.
I am a disappointment.
I am heartsick and it is not your job to mend it.
Find someone full of life.
Just leave me here to die.
I love you in a
Because I know I don’t want
A future with you.
But I want to share
This with you.
When I am alone in bed at
Night I crave your touch.
When I get coffee in the morning
I want your conversation.
When I work
I wish you would visit.
I crave moments with you.
Not a life.
Give me a night alone in my room.
Give me attention but also solitude.
Keep me warm, build me a fire,
Kiss me softly as a grow tired.
Love me gently, but hit me rough.
My body is soft but my mind is tough.
Tell me stories to ease my head,
Please don’t leave me alone in bed.
I want so badly to be free.
Take this life away from me.
Give me pills that make me sleep,
Never again would you hear me weep.