Blood spills onto the floor.
I was better where,
I was miserable why didn’t you leave me there?
I deserve this hurt.
I deserve the pain, the embarrassment.
I am a disappointment.
I am heartsick and it is not your job to mend it.
Find someone full of life.
Just leave me here to die.
Give me a night alone in my room.
Give me attention but also solitude.
Keep me warm, build me a fire,
Kiss me softly as a grow tired.
Love me gently, but hit me rough.
My body is soft but my mind is tough.
Tell me stories to ease my head,
Please don’t leave me alone in bed.
I want so badly to be free.
Take this life away from me.
Give me pills that make me sleep,
Never again would you hear me weep.
I’m tired of empty apologies,
Of drunken phone calls,
I’m tired of these tired words,
That mean nothing to you.
I’m tired of trying for you over and over,
I’m tired of you acting like a stranger,
I’m tired of your jealousy,
The pathetic way you contradict yourself.
I’m tired of staring at your name in my contact book,
Not having the heart of throw away your number,
I’m tired of playing our memories over in my mind,
I’m tired of crying myself to sleep because the loneliness is overwhelming,
I’m tired of writing about you,
But I can’t get you out of my head any other way.
I’m sorry about the bruises
You got from trying to climb the walls
I built about myself
They are tall and strong
But they are what
keep me safe
I’m sorry about your eyes
They way the leaked over me
Was never something I intended to happen
I’m sorry about your bones
And the way they took home in my bed
After I stopped leaving my room
I’m sorry about the blisters and burns on your feet
You got after walking miles for me
Just for me to tell you to go back home
I’m sorry about your ears
And the way my lies will forever echo
In the drum like I almost loved you
I’m sorry about the taste I left in your mouth
Because no matter how badly you want to wipe it away
You won’t dare because it’s sweet and rare and irreplaceable
I’m sorry about your bed
And the way it’s filled with
Our memories and my scent.
I hope you cry for me one day,
The way I cried for you.